No News IS NOT Good News

Little Tater Tot (as your dad now calls you),

The hospital visit was not a pleasant one yesterday.  We checked in at 12:30 and did not check out until 5:30pm.  They took a urine test, five viles of blood (which meant I got stuck twice becuase they said my veins were too deep), did two over the abdomen ultrasounds and one transvaginal.  After all of that, they had nothing to tell me.  The doctor said that you were measuring smaller than what you should be for how far along I am.  They are calling you an abnormal pregnancy and saying I have a "threatened" miscarriage.  They told me to follow up with my doctor in a couple of days to get additional blood work to see how my hormone levels are.  We had our regular appointment scheduled for today, and your father says we should still go to it because they didn't even do an exam yesterday.  So we will probably still go.  Plus, they never told us if they heard your heartbeat or not.  They didn't tell us much of anything.

What is even more disheartening is how your father is coping.  He has a tendancy to internalize a lot of things, and with how rough this year has been, his internalizing is making him stress more, have health problems, and also become bitter and angry towards the world.  He was very upset yesterday, cursing up a storm and slamming things around.  He was trying to stay strong for me, but I could tell he was/is hurting just as much as I am.  He says he is worried about me, but honestly, I am more worried about him.  Poor guy has not had it easy.

The dogs are oblivious and have been playing tug-of-war all morning.  It is a nice distraction, but not much, since the doctor told me to stay home from work for a few days.  Honestly, I think they said that thinking I will miscarry you and this way I will be home and not out in public.  So I am working from home for the next two days at least, however, Friday (today is Tuesday) is when we are supposed to head to LA for work and part vacation.  I am not sure how much fun or relaxing we are going to be able to do now.

Anyways little TT, I will update you when I get more information.  Please hang in there.  You come from a strong line of fighters, you are not different, and your father and I expect no less from you.  So fight and prove the doctor wrong. 

We love you!