Moving Forward?

What a year!

Mack succumbed to cancer last month, July 1, 2012 at 4:30pm ET.  I was out of town, in San Diego for a conference for work.  Mark was home, had actually taken Mack and Zoey for a car ride earlier and was making him food when Mack just collapsed and started breathing heavily.  Mark called me and told me what was going on and then rushed Mack to the vet.  Unfortunately, his tumor that had grown back on his spleen, had ruptured and he was bleeding out.  We had to make the heartbreaking decision to put him to sleep.  As morbid as it may sound, I was fortunate enough to be able to be there and watch via Skype.  I talked to my puppy and told him how much I loved him and that I was sorry I wasn't able to save him.  Mark hugged him the entire time.  The vet saved him for me for when I returned from my trip.  We took him to the same crematory that we had taken Hope and got to push his button as well.  He now sits on Mark's nightstand.

Zoey started showing signs of grieving right away.  Therefore, Mark and I decided to adopt another dog sooner rather than later.  We figured why wait just so the dog could sit in the pound even longer.  So we adopted a yellow, dudley lab from the same pound we got Zoey.  We named him Lucian Ames.  Lucian means light and Ames means friend.  Zoey's name means life.  They got along right away, as I took Zoey with me to pick up Lucian.  It has been almost a month and those two get along great.  They wrestle and play and chase each other all of the time.  At night, they sometimes even cuddle with each other.  It is so cute.

Well, my two cycles have passed that the doctor recommended I wait for before trying for another baby.  So this past month was our first opportunity to get pregnant again.  My ovulation kit came back with a smiley face at lunch time on Monday, August 13.  Mark and I waited until when he got home from work to try.  By the next morning, my smiley face was gone.  We figured we tried, but probably missed our opportunity for the month.  Of course, we tried again that day for good measure.  ;)

Last time I got pregnant, my breasts started getting sore a few days later and ached from that point for about another month.  This time, nothing, no symptoms to make me believe I was pregnant.  This past weekend, I did experience cramping for a few hours and thought maybe it could be implantation cramping.  I was holding out hope, of course.  But one curious thing had me really hoping....Last time I was pregnant, Zoey would sniff my belly button often.  She stopped shortly before I miscarried.  Well last week, Zoey started sniffing my belly button again.  I kept that to myself, didn't tell Mark, because I figured I was just grasping for any signs.

My period was due to start yesterday.  When it didn't start by the evening, I made Mark drive me to get a pregnancy test.  I was positive it would show up as negative.  We got home and I waited until I had a remote feeling I had to pee.  I tested.  It said "PREGNANT"!  Mark smiled and giggled and we hugged.  I was so worried that he would not be happy when it happened again, but he was.   He is so cute when he is truly happy.

I of course tested again this morning and it still shows "PREGNANT"!

So with the calculations, I am due May 8th.  If this baby makes it, they will have awesome end of the school year birthday bashes every year!  Of course, due the the unfortunate ending of last time, we are not telling people this time.  We are going to wait until I am out of the first trimester and have been to the doctors and seen the baby.  That means, we should be able to tell everyone around Thanksgiving!

I am nervous and excited.  I hope this time will be different from last time!  Come on little one, Mommy and Daddy want you more than you could know.